My trajectory has been a sad one only due to fear and desperation and dependency and terror.
I didn't understand the Beatles when they said the love you take is equal to the love you make.
I felt unloveable and was so frightened that someone, everyone would find out.
The water was always muddy. And yet my Buddhist names all refer to clarity and clear seeing.
Today I was on a roll. Or following my own beam. Actually about 3 out of 6 days recently have been
good--good energy, somewhat good use of time. Much cleaner house. Still many boxes to unpack.
If I freeze up I am completely obsessive. If I am able to follow the beam, I can relate to my life.
Even tho I constantly think abot dying and wonder what for.
What for: Julie, Anna, David, my parents: to be compassionate.
Why can't I call Caridad and volunteer to work with migrant families. I am scared I will get it wrong.
Be exposed. Then I think of my ability to be
belly up without feeling like a grounded whake.
I don't want to do any more harm-to myself and anyone else. Only a few years left/Lalitasya
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment